Tag: 1 Samuel 25

A Heart of Peace: Lessons from Abigail

From a sermon given at Led by the Spirit, High Wycombe, Bucks – 22nd May 2022

1 Samuel 25
John 14. 23-29

Abigail, by ©MicahHayns

Peace be to you, and peace be to your house, and peace be to all that you have

1 Samuel 25.6

Said David, the outcast future King of Israel to Nabal, the owner of the land David had been protecting.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you

John 14.27

Said Jesus to his disciples just before he was to be taken away to be tried and crucified.

Peace be with you. We say it to one another just before communion as we nod in an Anglican kind of way: certainly no hand shaking or hugging anymore!

Peace.

What is it?

Is it the absence of something? An ending of conflict. The cessation of war?

Or is it a feeling? That feeling you get when you’re on holiday or having a massage?

But we all know that after a war ‘ends’, conflicts can continue to simmer within communities for years.

And I don’t know about you but when I’m meant to FEEL peaceful (on holiday or having a massage) I find I’m anything but. My mind fills with worries. I start chuntering about a problem or annoyance.

So, what does Jesus mean when he says ‘my peace I give to you’?

What does having Jesus’ peace mean when we find ourselves, for whatever reason, in the midst of conflict?

Because conflict is part of human existence isn’t it.

Think for a moment of the conflicts that impact you in some way.

  • Global – Ukraine is on all our minds
  • Communities or work situations
  • Home life/family life

None of us are immune. As soon as one finishes something else begins!

When I was a child, my mother counted the seconds in the morning to see how quickly I would say something mean to my sister that would cause her to cry or shout. Never much more than ten!

Both our readings begin with ‘peace be with you’ – but then both lead pretty quickly into conflict. We know what happened to Jesus soon after this. But the story in 1 Samuel is less well known. As is the main peacemaker – Abigail.

Abigail found herself in the middle of two warring men.

She was married to Nabal, a drunken,  boorish man whose name literally means ‘fool’. He was the landowner of the region that David had been protecting with his men.

Nabal threw David’s ‘peace be with you’ back at him by pretending he had no idea who he was (1 Samuel 25.10). David, thin-skinned and easily offended reacted immediately:

‘Every man strap on his sword!’…David also strapped on his sword

1 Samuel 25.13

And they head off to murder Nabal and all his household.

Before we judge too harshly let’s pause to reflect on ourselves here.

We may not have an actual sword or an army of men with swords like David. But let’s be honest, we can all strap on our metaphorical swords when we find ourselves in a conflict. Our weapons may be a caustic tweet, a winning takedown in an argument, an angry gesture in a car, a passive-aggressive ‘ghosting’. We all have our weapons of choice, don’t we?

Abigail is alerted to the conflict by one of Nabal’s men. He knew she was the more sensible one to speak to. And her immediate response isn’t to ‘strap on her sword’ and gather the troops.

Her response was one of peace-making. Her response was considered, thoughtful, and prepared.

The first thing she did?

She baked! OK, she may not have baked it all herself but she knew food was required. I know this may be rather gendered but….a clever woman’s tactic! She prepared fig cakes, loaves, wine and put them all on a donkey, and sent them ahead of her.

Street Pastors

She perhaps knew what the modern-day Street Pastors know. They go to nightclubs armed with lollies as they know it’s hard to fight whilst sucking a lolly!

When Abigail reached David (who was chuntering in his anger), she threw herself at his feet and used every peace-making tactic in her repertoire.

She flattered him – ‘my Lord, my Lord’; she told him Nabal wasn’t worth it – ‘fool by name and fool by nature’; and she handed over her gifts.

But the thing that made all the difference in the end?

She raised David’s eyes and reminded him of God. And she reminded him of who he was in the eyes of God.

The Lord has appointed you prince over Israel…. you are fighting the Lord’s battles…..my lord shall have no pangs of conscience’

1 Samuel 25.27-31

Abigail reminds David who he truly was and who he would one day become. And David changes his mind, and puts down his weapons.

Blessed be the Lord who sent you to meet me today…blessed be your good sense.

1 Samuel 25.32

The end of the story is that family is saved. Abigail waits for her husband to sober up before telling him what she’d done, and Nabal is so shocked he had a heart attack and died… and she ends up marrying David (which by all accounts isn’t necessarily a happy ending!)

So what might we learn from Abigail when it comes to peace-making?

That peace is not an absence of conflict or a feeling, but can also be an action. An action that can involve heading into conflict and not hiding away from it.

One of the books I found helpful this past year has been ‘The Anatomy of Peace’ by the Arbinger Institute.

The authors speak of the choice between having a ‘heart of war’ and a ‘heart of peace’ in the midst of conflict. Having a ‘heart of war’ involves seeing people as objects, often using language in a way that dehumanises: this always makes things worse and leads to further conflict.

The alternative is to enter conflict with a ‘heart of peace’: seeing others as people, human beings beloved of God.

It’s been something I keep going back to. I certainly don’t always get it right. If I find I have a ‘heart of war’ I need to seek out Abigail’s to help me look up and remind me who I am.

And this perhaps is what Jesus means when he speaks about the peace he leaves with us. He gives us a heart of peace.

The Hebrew word for peace is Shalom.

It is not the absence of something at all. Shalom means fullness, rightness, contentment, wholeness. Shalom is all things made well.

So, if you are in the midst of a conflict situation right now – Shalom
If you are concerned about a situation involving others – Shalom
If you are stuck in the middle of warring parties like Abigail – Shalom
If you are struggling to find a heart of peace – Shalom

Jesus’ peace isn’t like the world’s peace. It’s the ‘peace that passes all understanding’. It’s Shalom. And he offers this to you, to me today.

Amen

Prayer

God of peace and love,
We thank you that you offer us a peace that passes all understanding. We pray for that peace, that Shalom, today. For ourselves, our world, and for those we love, and especially for those we are in any kind of conflict with. Amen

Abigail: the desert diplomat

1 Samuel 25: 1-44

Abigail ©MicahHayns

In 2014 Major General Kristin Lund of Norway was appointed as the first woman to serve as Force Commander in a United Nations peacekeeping operation. (1)

Our next woman, Abigail, was also a peacekeeper.

The whole story is written rather like a play within a play. The setting is in the desert at a time when the Israelites were desert tribes, Saul was still King, the prophet Samuel had just died, and David was gaining power as a tribal leader.

Abigail (meaning father’s joy) was married to Nabal (meaning fool or moron). They could not have been a more mismatched couple. Abigail was beautiful, intelligent and sensitive whereas Nabal was surly, mean and a drunkard. He had a large farm with 3000 sheep, 1000 goats and a property at the foot of Mount Carmel.

It was sheep shearing season, traditionally a time when communities would hold celebration feasts. David, whose men had protected Nabal’s farm, sent ten men to ask for some produce for the feast as payment. Nabal responded to their polite (although 10 men sounds pretty threatening) request by shouting at them and insulting the men, and David.

Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse?

1 Samuel 25.10

David was furious when he heard this and began to prepare to go to war against them. One of Nabal’s men saw what had happened and wisely realised that there was no point talking to his master as ‘he’s so ill-natured that no-one can speak to him’. Instead he went to Abigail and explained the dangerous situation.

Abigail lost no time.

She gathered a number of gifts (including managing to rustle up 200 cakes of figs and 100 cakes of raisins, which is pretty impressive), loaded up the donkeys and headed off to meet David.

Abigail throws herself at David’s feet. Minature from Rudolf von Ems’ World Chronicle, Codex bibl. 205, fol. 136 (14th Century)

She found him and his men on their way to battle. She got off her donkey, threw herself at David’s feet and then delivered a brilliant peacekeeping speech: a speech which appealed to David’s pride and was both theologically compelling and strategically sensible. She used winning peace making strategies, many typically used by women who don’t have power and strength on their side:

  • Flattery – ‘my Lord’
  • Humility – ‘let the blame be on me alone’
  • Explanation – ‘pay no attention to that wicked man Nabal – his name is Fool and folly goes with him’
  • Gift giving – ‘let this gift.. be given to the men who follow you’
  • Appeal to the conscience – ‘let no wrong-doing be found in you as long as you live’.

Abigail’s speech changed David’s heart and he called off his men.

May you be blessed for your good judgement and for keeping me from bloodshed this day

1 Samuel 25.33

What Abigail did that day was hugely risky. David could easily have killed her, and even after her meeting with him she then had to go back home to face the wrath of her husband. Once back she found him ‘in high spirits and very drunk’ and so she wisely decided to wait until he had sobered up to tell him what she had done.

A C14th depiction of Abigail tending Nabal by John de Teye (1361-1384)
commons.wikimedia.org

He was so shocked ‘his heart failed him and became like stone’. (37)

It is likely that he had a stroke or a heart attack, and 10 days later he died.

Abigail’s story doesn’t end there as David, hearing of Nabal’s death, sends for her and she becomes his wife, and the mother of his second son (Daniel).

Reflection and Prayer

Abigail’s story is one of salvation.  She saves her household and herself from her boorish husband and from the ensuing army set to destroy them. She saved David from acting in a way that would lead to sin, and she secured peace in the region and a better life for herself and her people.

A very early role model for the female peacekeepers of the United Nations today?

As we remember Abigail let us pray for all those who are peacemakers in our communities, for those who do this on a global and national stage, but also for those who are involved in conflict mediation on a local level. Let us also remember women who are today living with partners who struggle with alcohol addiction, and who’s behaviour is unpredictable and violent. This must be particularly difficult during this difficult time.

O God, from whom all holy desires, all good counsels, and all just works do proceed: Give unto thy servants that peace which the world cannot give, that our hearts may be set to obey thy commandments,
and also that by thee, we, being defended from the fear of all enemies,
may pass our time in rest and quietness;
through the merits of Jesus Christ our Saviour. 
Amen.
The Collect for Peace from the Book of Common Prayer

(1 and 2) https://unu.edu/publications/articles/why-un-needs-more-female-peacekeepers.html