Guest Blogby Milly Sinclair, training consultant…and my sister!
How long, how long will we sing this song How long…
Raped Bathsheba Given a name But no voice Just another Naked beauty Broken A footnote in a Famous man’s story
Boy David Turned Goliath Powerful man king Snatching at flesh That wasn’t his To take
And Oh, oh, oh she had no stone to fell him
The fame of David’s name. His lust known His rape His murder: ‘You are the man… yes you are the man.’ His lavish atonement His grief His poetry His lineage Writ large for perpetuity
Bathsheba You share the blame Of his shame Your child taken.
How wild was David’s grief How deep and wide David’s repentance… ‘wash me as white as snow’
Bathsheba’s cries unheard Bathsheba’s grief unwritten Bathsheba’s rape unredeemed Bathsheba’s stain unwashed Wife of a murdered husband Mother of a stolen child Forced to drink Again… and again… The bitter cup
All the women, Yes, all the women Whose bodies are used As weapons of war, All the footnotes In powerful men’s story, All that share the blame Of man’s shame. All the nameless, The blameless The wordless Raped women Line up… line up Fill our ears with your voice. Bathsheba’s story is your story We hear you.
How long, how long will We sing this song How long….
Broken, naked woman Broken, naked, man Redeem us.
It is Mothering Sunday in the UK tomorrow, a day that is full of joy for some and sorrow for others. This year will be particularly difficult for all those who can’t be with their mothers. And so let us pray for women who are mothers, for our own mothers, for those who long to be a mother, and for all those who have a ‘mothering’ role in caring for children and young people.
Lord, we pray for the women of our world the mothers of all nations. May those who suffer violence be given strength to survive. May those who suffer poverty and distress be given hope and aid. May those who suffer pain and fear be given relief and courage. May those who are homeless be given shelter and protection. Lord guide those who have, that they may give with love and compassion to those who have not. A prayer from Pida Ripley, London
Hamlet: O Jephthah, judge of Israel what a treasure hadst thou!
Polonius: What a treasure had he, my Lord?
Hamlet: One fair daughter and no more; The which he loved passing well.
William Shakespeare, Hamlet
TW/CW: Domestic Violence/Abuse
The story of Jephthah’s daughter is a grim tale that has echoes throughout literature across the ages, from Iphigenia in Greek mythology to Offenbach’s operettas to Shakespeare’s Hamlet. It is the story of a proud father, an innocent daughter and a misguided vow.
Although we don’t know her name we know that Jephthah’s daughter loved to dance and this is how we first meet her. Her father is returning from battle and she goes out to greet him ‘dancing to the sound of tambourines.
She was the only child of Jephthah, who was an exile from the Gileadite tribe having been sent away by his brothers as his mother had been a prostitute (or perhaps that’s just what they called her!). He’d made a home for himself in Tob and had become a successful leader of ‘a gang of scoundrels’.
War had broken out and the Gileadites decided they needed Jephthah’s fighting skills and so they begged him to return to join them, which he reluctantly agreed to. However, rather than relying on his skill and on prayer he made a rash vow to God which would be his undoing:
If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph.. will be the Lord’s, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.
Judges 11. 31
What was he thinking!
Perhaps he imagined a goat would come out of the house first, or a servant he had no regard for.
But he can’t surely have intended for it to be his beloved only child. And so when his daughter came out of the house singing and dancing he cried out in dismay. Not, as you might think, in concern for her, but for himself!
When he saw her he tore his clothes and cried, ‘Oh no, my daughter! You have brought me down and I am devastated. I have made a vow to the Lord that I cannot break.
Judges 11.35
So she’s to blame… nice!
Her reaction was remarkable. She told him he shouldn’t revoke his vow to the Lord but asked him for two months freedom to mourn all that she was about to lose. She spent that time with her friends in the hills and then went back to her death:
and he did to her as he had vowed
We might recall a similar story from Genesis where Isaac was to be sacrificed by his father Abraham. Isaac was saved because an angel appeared just before the final deed and a goat was sacrificed in his place.
Sadly, no there was no angel to save Jephthah’s daughter.
Reflection and Prayer
‘As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love’
John 15.9
Was this sacrifice something that God ordained, or was it just the foolishness and pride of a father unwilling to back down on a promise? My view is that this tale that reminds us that many terrible things have been done in the name of religion but which are nothing to do with God’s will. Jephthah’s daughter showed remarkable courage and strength in the face of a terrible injustice done to her by the very person who should have protected her. It’s another hard story to reflect on, but it’s also important to remember in prayer all those who are harmed at the hands of those they trust.
Let us pray: For those who suffer at the hands of fathers who harm them; For those who work with survivors of domestic abuse; For those who do use God’s name to justify their own destructive actions; And let us remember that we have a heavenly father who loves us and will do us no harm, and He calls us to rest in that love. Amen
The next woman was meant to be Delilah but once I’d re-read the story of Samson I couldn’t miss out the first Mrs Samson. Most people have never heard of her and she isn’t given a name. She was a Philistine woman from Timnah. Samson, the hirsute Nazarite prophesied to be saviour of Israel from the Philistines, sees her from afar and decides that he wants her as his wife.
It isn’t the most romantic start to a relationship:
Get her for me [he tells his father]. She’s the right one for me.
Judges 14.3
It’s important to remember that at the time the Philistines were enemies of the Israelites and so this was an unusual match, and both families are wary of the union.
We all know tales of weddings that go awry with fights breaking out amongst guests or badly behaved relatives. A vicar friend of mine dropped the bridal ring down the church grate during the vows and they had to use a bridesmaid’s ring until after the service when they could get in a plumber!
However, I don’t think anyone will have had a worst engagement and wedding celebration that the poor first Mrs Samson.
It began badly. On the way to meet her for the first time Samson encountered a lion and ripped it apart with his bare hands. We can only hope he washed his hands before he saw her! He later found that the carcass has filled up with bees and scooped out some honey, ate it and took some as a gift for his folks.
The Wedding of Samson by Rembrandt van Rijn, between 1625 and 1669
But things really began going wrong during the wedding reception, which in those days lasted several days. Many of the most serious arguments begin with something really quite small, and this was the case for the Samsons.
It all began with a simple riddle.
We probably all know that Samson’s defining features are his long hair and his strength, but he was also keen on riddles and gambling. The Philistines provided Samson with 30 young men to be his companions during the festivities, and Samson decided to set them up with a riddle using fine linens as a wager.
Fun Fact: jars of Tate and Lyle’s Golden Syrup feature the lion and bees with the quote ‘out of the strong came forth sweetness’ from Judges
Out of the eater, something to eat; Out of the strong, something sweet.
Judges 14.14
This drove the young men mad. So mad in fact that they threatened to murder the bride and burn her family home if she didn’t tell them the answer!
She cried for the whole seven days of her ‘celebrations’ and eventually persuaded her new husband to give her the answer (Lion. Honey). Sadly, this didn’t end the matter. Samson was so furious that he’d lost the riddle that he paid back his debt by stealing the clothes off the backs of another group of men and then angrily went back to his family home abandoning his new bride.
She was then given in marriage to one of the companions, and one can image she might have been pretty relieved to be rid of the unpredictable Nazarene.
However the next year Samson went back to reclaim his bride and, finding she was already married, a cycle of violence began between the two clans which led to arguably the most bizarre act of revenge in the entire Bible.
Samson caught three hundred foxes (how on earth did he manage this?!), tied their tails together, set them alight and let them loose in the Philistines’ fields, where they ran around and burned down all their crops. It sounds like something out of a Roald Dahl novel!
They then retaliated by murdering the fated first Mrs Samson, her father, and many of her people.
And it all began with a riddle!
Prayer and Reflection
In the Church of England marriage service there is a promise that the congregation make to support the couple:
Will you, family and friends of x and x support and uphold them now and in the years to come’. ALL: We Will.
What can we do to support and uphold relationships that are struggling at this time?
A blessing often used at the end of wedding services – a prayer for us all perhaps.
God the Holy Trinity make you strong in faith and love, defend you on every side, and guide you in truth and peace; and the blessing of God almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, be among you and remain with you always. Amen.
One of my favourite Netflix series for 2019 was the spy thriller and darkly comic ‘Killing Eve’. The star was Villanelle, the beautiful and almost child-like assassin who comes up with weird and macabre ways to bump off her victims.
If Deborah defied our expectations of women in the Bible by being a judge and prophet then this next woman shatters any illusions that women are the ‘gentler sex’.
Yesterday’s tale ended with Sisera, the commander of the King of Cannaan’s army, in retreat. He had oppressed the people of Israel for many years and Barak, with Deborah at his side had gone to fight for justice. Sisera began the battle with 900 chariots and ended with an enormous defeat. He fled on foot to the tent of the Bedouin family of Heber the Kenite, who he knew was a long-time ally of his.
Heber the Kenite may well have been an ally, but Sisera didn’t consider Heber’s wife. Jael, it seems, was not an ally – very far from it in fact:
Jael saw him coming, so she went out to meet him and said, “Sir, come into my tent. Come in. Don’t be afraid.”
Jael and Sisera, ca 1690, Lucas Jordán, Luca Jordanus, Luca Fa Presto, 1632-1705
She was generous and hospitable, gave him some milk and a warm bed and tucked him in for the night. After a full day’s battle Sisera must have been exhausted and so he soon fell sound asleep.
She went softly to him and drove the peg into his temple, until it went down into the ground – and he died.
Judges 4.21
Bedouin people lived in tents and so Jael must have been a good hand with a peg and a mallet! She uses what she knows. Villanelle couldn’t have done it better herself!
Jael even gets a mention in Deborah’s triumphant song which isn’t the most romantic of ditties!
Most blessed women be Jael, The wife of Heber the Kenite, Of tent dwelling women be blessed…. She put her hand to the tent peg and her right hand to the work-men’s mallet; She struck Sisera a blow, she crushed his head, She shattered and pierced his temple. He sank, he fell, he lay still at her feet; At her feet he sank, he fell, Where he sank, there he fell dead.
Judges 5:24-27
Nice!
It’s an odd tale, and brings up moral issues of whether violence such as this can ever be justified or claimed to be part of God’s will. It’s hard from our perspective to judge the decisions of those in conflicts so many centuries ago. Do the ends justify the means? It’s very hard to tell, but what we are told is the actions of Deborah and Jael led to peace:
there was peace in the land for forty years’
Judges 5.31
That is, until the people rebelled again and war broke out once more (Judges 6).
Reflection and Prayer
Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4.31-32
Aggression and violence is more often considered to be a male issue, and men are certainly more likely to be physically violent than women. However research shows that women are more likely to use indirect aggression, such as spreading false rumours, excluding others from a social group, making insinuations without direct accusation, and criticising others’ appearance or personality (1). Jael’s actions are shocking because of the physical nature of her actions, but perhaps we can all recognise ways in which we can be aggressive at times, and when our anger can result in harm to others.
I love this prayer by Harry Williams as it’s so real and honest:
O God, I am hellishly angry; I think so and so is a swine; I am tortured by worry about this or that; I am pretty certain things can’t get worse; this or that has left me feeling terribly depressed. But nonetheless here I am like this, feeling both bloody and bloody minded, and I’m going to stay here for ten minutes. You are most unlikely to give me anything. I know that. But I am going to stay here for ten minutes nonetheless. Amen
Depending on the version in the Bible you read, our next woman is described as either a harlot or a prostitute (although some Rabbinic texts describe her as an Innkeeper). Yet despite her likely profession, and even though she wasn’t an Israelite, she is one of the few women named in the genealogy of Jesus at the beginning of Matthew’s Gospel.
Abraham was the father of Isaac….and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, …and Jesse the father of King David…and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called the Messiah
Matthew 1
So, who was she?
Some background. Moses had died and his assistant Joshua had taken over the leadership of the Israelites, who were still in exile in the wilderness. God had promised them that they would be led into the Promised Land and they had camped in the Jordan valley opposite the City of Jericho in hope that this was indeed the land they had waited for for so long. But first they needed to check out the city and so Joshua sent some spies on a reconnaissance mission.
Rahab was a citizen of Jericho and she lived literally on the edges of the City:
..her house was on the outer side of the city wall and she resided within the wall itself.
Joshua 2.15
Joshua’s spies went to stay at Rahab’s house ‘and spent the night there’. We don’t hear whether they were doing so because she had an Inn or because of her other profession… we can only imagine! The King of Jericho found out about them and ordered that they be brought to him. Rahab was cunning though. She had heard about their God and also realised these men might be useful to her and her family. And so she hid them in her room, lied to the King’s men by sending them in the wrong direction, and then hatched a plan.
Before the men are allowed to sleep, Rahab went up to the roof to speak to them:
I know that the Lord has given you the land…. we have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea… The Lord your God is indeed God in heaven above and earth below.
Joshua 2.8
Rahab Helping the Two Israelite Spies., Frederick Richard Pickersgill, illustrator of the 1897 Bible Pictures and What They Teach Us by Charles Foster
She defied the orders of the King (rather like Shiprah and Puah, the midwives), and made a pact with the spies. She would help them escape and in return they were to ensure that all her family would be unharmed when they eventually come to take the land. The Israelites would know them because of the red cords tied on their windows. The pact is made and the spies escape.
A little while later the City of Jericho was surrounded by the Israelites who marched round the city walls for seven days blowing their trumpets and processing the Arc of the Covenant. They eventually took the city killing all those who lived there, but Rahab and all her family were spared and they become incorporated into the Jewish people.
This blog is not the place to defend or attack the actions of the ancient people of Israel in the time of Joshua, though it’s hard imagine that the God of love and justice ever commanded the destruction of a city and its people.
Instead, let us focus on this remarkable woman who comes to be named in the New Testament as a hero of faith (Hebrews 11) and as an example of faith in action (Book of James ). She used her position, her (perhaps intimate) knowledge of people both within and outside of her culture, her home, persuasive powers, charm and wily intellect, to protect the Israelite spies and to secure the lives of her entire family, a family that would in time include Jesus of Nazareth. It is an impressive feat.
Rahab: harlot or heroine? Perhaps she was both.
Reflection and Prayer
Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are going into the kingdom of God ahead of you.
Matthew 21.31 (from the parable of the two sons in the vineyard)
Jesus was criticised by the religious leaders for spending time with those they considered to be ‘sinners’ and ‘unclean’, the prostitutes, tax collectors and lepers. Yet they were often the first to recognise that He was the Saviour, the one who would bring healing and wholeness. Rahab’s story reminds us that we too often make judgements about people because of their lifestyle, profession or values. She also reminds us that God often chooses the most unlikely people to bring about His purposes, even women like Rabah, and you and me!
Many of us are fearful for families and friends at this time of Covid 19. Let us pray for God’s protection, especially for those who are sick, and those who care for them. Perhaps we might think about what we can do to support someone who is fearful.
Father, give to us, and to all your people, in times of anxiety, serenity; in times of hardship, courage; in times of uncertainty, patience; and at all times, a quiet trust in your wisdom, protection and love; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen A Prayer from New Every Morning
I was in a shop getting some pictures framed whilst wearing my clerical collar and the man at the desk said: ‘you’ll know the answer to this as you’re a Vicar’.
Church leaders may know the feeling of dread at that statement!
'So, Miriam from the Bible, who was she then?'
I floundered. I knew she was in the Old Testament and had something to do with Moses. Nothing else. Another customer came in so I took the time to hide behind the frames to google her! I came away determined I’d find out more about Miriam, and also all the other wonderful women of scripture: hence this blog.
So, who was Miriam? She was Moses and Aaron’s sister, the daughter of Amran (one of the Israelite leaders) and Jochebed. That was the simple answer I gave the framer. But there is so much more to her. She was also the first women to be described as a prophetess, a leader of women, a musician and the very first worship leader mentioned in scripture!
Jocheved, Miriam, and Moses, an illustration from the 1897 Bible Pictures and What They Teach Us: Containing 400 Illustrations from the Old and New Testaments, by Charles Foster
We first hear of her when Moses is a baby in the bulrushes having been hidden by his mother to protect him from Pharaoh’s wicked plans to kill the male children. Jochebed (another fabulous woman) placed Moses in the river and Miriam stands at a distance to keep watch. When Pharaoh’s daughter comes and scoops Moses out of the river Miriam steps forward and suggests an ingenious plan.
Shall I go and get you a nurse from the Hebrew women to nurse the child for you?
Exodus 2.7
Miriam suggests Moses’ mother, who is then paid a wage to look after her own son!
Miriam’s Song, by John Edward Poynter (The Bible and Its Story, 1910)
We next hear of Miriam after Pharoah’s army has been defeated and the Israelites escape from Egypt across the red sea into the wilderness. She leads the defiant ‘song of the sea’, a song of triumph which is still recited in jewish daily prayers to this day.
[Miriam] took a tambourine in her hand; and all the women went out after her with tambourines and with dancing:
“Sing to the Lord, for he has triumphed gloriously; horse and rider he has thrown into the sea.”
Exodus 15.20-21
I love the fact that when Miriam and the women fled Egypt, when they didn’t even have time to wait for the bread to rise, they took with them their musical instruments. It’s as if they knew there would be a time to celebrate again one day, and they wanted to make sure they were ready.
It is likely that she was one of the community leaders whilst the Israelites were in exile, and we hear that she wasn’t afraid to confront Moses when she disapproved of a relationship of his (Numbers 12.1). Her forthright nature leads to her being accused of being jealous of Moses and she contracts leprosy (which was understood as a punishment) and is ostracised for a week.
She died at a time of drought in the wilderness of Zin and she was remembered many years later by the prophets as having been one of the three (with Moses and Aaron) who were sent by God to deliver his people from slavery (see Micah 6.4).
So, who was Miriam? A courageous sister, a leader of women, a musician, a worship leader, a dancer, and so much more!
Reflection and Prayer
There is a fantastically catchy song by Debbie Friedman which is sung at Jewish children’s camps in America (and maybe in the UK) called Miriam’s Song. I love this version as it’s rough and ready but totally joyful and the clips of Jewish kids enjoying themselves is a delight. Have a listen. https://youtu.be/1dcBTze-T4o
And Miriam the prophet took her timbrel in her hand And all the women followed her just as she had planned And Miriam raised her voice in song She sang with praise and might We’ve just lived through a miracle: We’re going to dance tonight!!
Miriam was first to lead the community in joyful praise after many years of hardship. Sometimes it’s good to remember to be thankful, whatever else is going on in our lives. Perhaps you might like to think of five things you are thankful for right now? You might like to say them out loud, boldly, remembering Miriam as you do so.
May we accept this day at your hand, O Lord as a gift to be treasured, a life to be enjoyed, a trust to be kept and a hope to be fulfilled: and all for your glory. Amen
Written by Alannah Jeune, Doctoral student in History, University of Canterbury, New Zealand
I was ten when prostitution became legal in New Zealand, my home country. I remember the debates and news coverage surrounding the decision and the sudden increased visibility of street prostitution in my part of the city. My understanding of prostitution was very limited – largely derived from biblical passages and stories, and I think I had assumed it was something that only happened in ‘olden times’.
I can only faintly recall hearing the story of Tamar in Church, and the little I did remember was that she was characterised as a prostitute. But Tamar is far from the deceptive temptress that this label implied – her story is that of a remarkable woman who was to become one of only four women named in Jesus’s ancestral line.
Tamar’s story falls in the middle of the Genesis account of Joseph and his brothers. Chapter 38 begins with Judah and his three sons Er, Onan and Shelah. Tamar is married first to Er:
But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord put him to death.
Genesis 38:7
Judah then instructs his second son, Onan to marry Tamar according to levirate custom. This custom stated that any children born to the couple would be legally Er’s and inherit on his behalf. Therefore, Onan ensured that Tamar would not become pregnant, with the result that he too was put to death by the Lord.
Judah, probably a little nervous about Tamar by this point, ordered her to return to her father’s house telling her to wait there until Shelah was old enough to marry. Tamar does this and lives as a young widow in her father’s household, but Judah does not send for her once Shelah is grown.
Judah and Tamar, School of Rembrandt, 1650-1660
By this point Judah’s own wife has died, and when Tamar hears he is going on a journey to Timnah, she decides to take control of the situation. She dresses herself as a prostitute and sits at the entrance of Enaim, a town on the way to Timnah. Judah propositions her, sleeps with her, and leaves his signet and staff as a pledge till he can send a young kid to her as payment. However, Judah is unable to find the prostitute when he returns to recover his identifying belongings.
Meanwhile, Tamar has become pregnant by Judah and this is soon noticed. Judah is informed and he orders that she be brought out and burned. Tamar shows Judah his own signet and staff and tells him she is pregnant by the owner of these items.
Then Judah acknowledged them and said, ‘she is more in the right than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.’
Genesis 38:26
The tale concludes with the birth of Tamar’s twins: Perez and Zerah.
Tamar’s story is messy. She is passed as property from one man to another, from her father via Judah to Er then to Onan, then back to her father. At no point does Tamar have any choice or control. Her future is bleak – as a childless widow she has no societal standing, nor the security of someone to care for her in her old age. Hers is a situation in which women across the generations have found themselves caught – in a patriarchal society, the worst thing to be is a woman alone.
While emotional details are scant, Tamar’s story reveals a lot about her relationships with the men who control her life. Tamar’s first husband is put to death by the Lord for wickedness… it is no stretch to assume that this was not the happiest of marriages for Tamar, and that she may have suffered at his hands. But being married to a wicked man and all the trials that comes with such a union, was preferable to no marriage at all. And her father-in-law not only cheats her out of a marriage with Shelah, but seems to have been a man of questionable morals – Tamar chose the disguise of a prostitute implying she knew that Judah would be likely to use such services.
This is not a family anyone would choose to join willingly, but Tamar has few options so takes control of her own future through the only means she has. She has nothing to barter with but her own body, and her capacity to bear children, so this is the way provides herself with some security.
And yet this dysfunctional family is one that God has chosen to bless. Matthew’s gospel recounts Jesus’ genealogy and there in verse 3 is Tamar:
and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron thefather of Aram
Matthew 1:3
Tamar could not have known that through her son Perez, she would be an antecedent of Jesus. Her actions were designed only to ensure her own survival in a deeply patriarchal world – with few options open to her, she makes a difficult choice and tries to gain some control over her life. She changes her narrative from that of a desperate victim of circumstance to a woman who is praised for her righteousness by her family.
Tamar’s story is difficult, but that is why it is powerful. The Bible does not edit out the difficult parts, just as we cannot edit out the painful, messy and difficult parts of our lives, no matter how much we might want to. Because God is there in the difficulties, in the mess. He works through imperfect and flawed people like Tamar and her family, just as he works in our lives in both the bad times as well as the good.
It is easy to feel God with us and working through us when things are going well – when we are succeeding, loving our neighbours and full of hope. But Tamar reminds us that He is also with us in the depths of our despair, in the lowest moments of our lives or those times when we feel we are falling short.
Prayer
Tamar’s story does not belong in ‘olden times’, she embodies the female experience of so many women around the world who live under oppressive political or social systems. But she also embodies that hope for us all – that even in the worst of times, God is with us and working through us.
A Prayer for International Women’s Day (which is tomorrow)
God of all, God of hope, We pray for women and girls today. That they will be all they can be. Give us courage to speak and work For equality and justice Until the earth is filled With righteousness and love. Amen.
Potiphar was cool and so fine
But his wife would never toe the line
It's all there in chapter 39 of Genesis
She was beautiful but evil
Saw a lot of men against his will
(from Joseph the Musical)
One of the things you quickly notice when reading about the women in scripture is often they are often only allowed one characteristic (jealous sister, childless woman, whore), whilst the men are able to be complex and multi-faceted.
Take the story in Genesis about Joseph – he’s a good example. Joseph, sold by his jealous and deceitful brothers into slavery in Egypt, had been the favoured and much beloved son of Jacob and Rachel. He was a dreamer and rather vain (he loved that coat!), but was also resourceful and cunning, fearful and faithful.
Potiphar’s Wife, on the other hand, was only one thing:
A Seductress.
We don’t find out anything much about her life and we don’t even get to know her name. We don’t know whether she had children, whether she was a kind or demanding mistress, or what Potiphar, an Officer of the King of Egypt (Pharaoh), was like as a husband.
It’s likely that she lived in luxury. They had servants and a large household, within which Joseph had worked his way up the ranks to become the overseer, like a young Mr Carson (from Downton Abbey).
Now Joseph was handsome and good-looking. And after a time his master’s wife cast her eyes on Joseph
Genesis 39.6-7
Mrs Potiphar was clearly very taken by this handsome young Hebrew man. She began to pay him ‘special attention’ and then one day propositioned him:
Lie with me
Genesis 39.7
The story is told as if this attraction was entirely one way but this may well not have been the case. It has all the hallmarks of a Downton Abbey upstairs-downstairs affair. She was certainly infatuated with Joseph and he may well have been attracted by his mistress, but he would have known that if he slept with her he risked his job, his place in the household, and even his life: adultery was punishable by death. He was also faithful to God:
How then could I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?
Genesis 39.9
So, Joseph resisted but Mrs P persisted, until one day they found themselves alone. She made a pass at him and even got some of his clothes off, but Joseph ran out of the house leaving her holding his ‘garment’.
Joseph wanted to resist her till One day she proved too eager Joseph cried in vain "Please stop, I don't believe in free love"
1910 comic caricature of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife by Joseph Kuhn-Régnier, Notice the chilled wine bottle and glasses on the small table at the left!
She was furious. How dare he, a slave, spurn her. She turned against him, and in her fury accused him of attacking her: she had his coat as proof. Joseph was thrown into prison.
Poor, poor Joseph, what'cha gonna do? Things look bad for you, hey, what'cha gonna do?
Once in Prison Joseph began to interpret dreams and this led to him being introduced to Pharaoh himself, and becoming the Egyptian King’s right hand man. We hear nothing more of Potiphar’s wife.
Her role as ‘the seductress’ has been fulfilled and she’s no longer necessary for the rest of the story.
Reflection and Prayer
I pray, O Lord, that I will not fall into temptation; for the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak
Matthew 26.41 (Good News Version, adapted)
Many of the women in the Hebrew Scriptures are portrayed as innocent victims and so it’s surprising and rather refreshing to come across a woman like Potiphar’s wife, a powerful protagonist and an instigator, and who desired love rather than children. Perhaps today we can pray for all those whose love is unrequited, for those who are tempted into adultery, and for those who continue to resist.
O God our Father, hear me, who am trembling in this darkness, and stretch forth thy hand unto me; hold forth thy light before me; recall me from my wanderings; and thou be my guide, may I be restored to myself and to thee
Augustine, 354-430
We have been lost to each other for so long. My name means nothing to you. My memory is dust. This is not your fault, or mine. The chain connecting mother to daughter was broken and the word passed to the keeping of men, who had no way of knowing.
From The Red Tent by Anita Diamant, page 1
The Red Tent is a wonderful novel by Anita Diamant which imagines Dinah’s story rather differently to the text we are given in Genesis 34.
There is a problem with the story of Dinah. We hear about an horrific crime committed against her, but the difficulty is that as everything is told from the point of view of either the accused (Shechem), or the accusers (her brothers), it’s hard to know the truth of the matter. She doesn’t get to say a word.
It’s a gruesome tale and needs a trigger warning as it contains a rape.
Dinah was the only daughter of Jacob and Leah and so we know that she had six brothers and six half-brothers. The story we are told in Genesis 34 is that Dinah went to visit the local women and whilst there she encountered the son of the local ruler called Shechem.
This is a despicable crime and we deplore any violence towards women of this kind, whether happening now or thousands of years ago in the ancient world.
Shechem then ‘falls in love’ with Dinah, ‘speaks tenderly to her’, and asks his father Hamor if he can marry her. At that time it was unheard for women from the Abrahamic tribes to intermarry with local people, and so this was a bold request.
Hamor went to speak with Jacob to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage for his son but at this point her brothers turned up, hear what had happened and fly into a rage.
They were filled with grief and fury, because Shechem had done a disgraceful thing in Israel by lying with Jacob’s daughter – a thing that should not be done.
Genesis 34. 7
Shechem and Hamor pleaded with Jacob and offered a dowry for Dinah’s hand in marriage. But the brothers refused. This time their refusal was because Shechem was ‘uncircumcised’ and therefore considered unclean. They claimed that the marriage would be ‘a disgrace to us’.
They hatched a plan. They tell Shechem that the marriage (and other marriages between the Israelites and the locals) can go ahead only if all the men in their community are circumcised.
And Shechem agrees to this, and in fact does so with gusto:
the young man.. lost no time in doing what they said, because he was delighted with Jacob’s daughter.
And all the men get circumcised. Imagine what that must have been like. Imagine the groans of pain emanating from every household as all the men nurse their tender nether regions!
Three days later Simeon and Levi, two of the brothers, take matters into their own hands. Whilst all the Canaanite men were in pain they went into the town and attacked them, killing them all and looting from their homes. It’s another terrible crime.
Shechem and Hamor are murdered, and Dinah is ‘rescued’.
What is so brilliant about Anita Diamond’s book ‘The Red Tent’ is that she imagines this story differently. She imagines that Dinah falls in love with Shechem, sleeps with him and then hopes to marry him. Dinah pleads with her father that the marriage might go ahead, and encourages Shechem and the Canaanites to be circumcised as she shares her faith. Her brothers are so blinded by their rage, pride and assumptions about their sister – she couldn’t possibly have willingly have had sex with an outsider, it therefore must have been forced – that they don’t listen to her and carry out a terrible atrocity against her will.
Was Dinah a woman who was raped and held against her will? Or was she a woman who loved someone who her family disapproved of and paid a terrible price?
We can never know for sure. Without the voice of the woman in the story being heard we are only getting half the truth, which isn’t truth at all.
It's a wonder that any mother ever called a daughter Dinah again. But some did. Maybe you guessed that there was more to me than the voiceless cipher in the text. Maybe you heard it in the music of my name: the first vowel high and clear, as when a mother calls to her child at dusk; the second sound soft, for whispering secrets on pillows. Dee-nah.
The Red Tent, Anita Diamant
Refection and Prayer
This is a difficult passage to reflect on, but sometimes we need to focus prayerfully on the darkness in our world. We remember all women (and men) who have suffered from sexual violence and rape. We also remember women who are prevented from marrying the people they love by their family members, and recall that ‘honour killings’ are sadly still going on every day in our world. And we remember all those whose voices aren’t heard and whose stories will never be told.
Let us pray for light in the darkness.
Eternal Light, shine into our hearts, Eternal Goodness, deliver us from evil, Eternal Power, be our support, Eternal Wisdom, scatter the darkness of our ignorance, Eternal Pity, have mercy upon us; that with all our heart and mind and soul and strength we may seek thy face and be brought by thine infinite mercy to thy holy presence; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
In the previous post we heard about Rachel, the wife who Jacob loved the most but who never seemed to find contentment. Now we hear of her sister Leah, the wife Jacob never really loved but who was blessed with a huge number of sons.
Me and my sister, Milly (plus Layla and Koru)
Much of my childhood was spent in arguments with my sister. I was a couple of years older and was deeply jealous of her. Apparently when I was around three I used to sleep outside my parents’ bedroom door so I was first to be seen in the morning! I don’t look back on those years with much pride as I was pretty vile. I even cut her beautiful red hair and made her promise not to tell anyone! One of the greatest blessings in my life is that she forgave me and we’re now the best of friends.
This certainly wouldn’t be the case if we were married to the same man!!
Leah knew from the beginning of her marriage to Jacob that she wasn’t the one that Jacob loved most. But she did have lots of boys (something we share as Milly and I have 5 boys between us), and boys in those days were a sign of God’s blessing.
When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he opened her womb
Genesis 29.31
She had four sons in quick succession (Rueben, Simeon, Levi and Judah)
Surely now my husband will love me
Genesis 29. 32
But sadly for Leah this doesn’t seem to be the case and Jacob continued to prefer her sister, even though she had even more sons via her handmaid Zilpah (Gad and Asher).
Although neither Rachel nor Leah had much power over who they were to marry, it seems that they did have agency within their relationship. They were able to name their sons for example. And it seems that they were also able to control which of them Jacob slept with. Here is an example:
Illustration of Mandragora officinalis (Mandrake) Fun Fact: In the Odyssey, the Greek enchantress Circe used Mandragora in a brew to turn Odysseus’ men into swine! Fun Fact 2: Mandrakes are used in Harry Potter (Herbology) as a powerful restorative.
After Leah has stopped having children her eldest son Rueben finds some mandrake plants, a known ancient aphrodisiac said to possess natural stimulants. When you see the plants it’s not surprising why they became known as an ancient form of viagra!
Leah gave Rachel the plants in return for a night in Jacob’s bed.
When Jacob came in from the field in the evening Leah went out to meet him, and said, “you must come in to me; for I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” So Jacob lay with her that night
Genesis 30.16
The result of this led to her fifth son, Isaachar. She went on to have two more children, Zebulun and last but not least a daughter… Dinah (who we will hear about tomorrow).
Leah may not have been Jacob’s most beloved wife, but she seemed to have been more contented that her sister, and she was blessed with a quiver full of sons who then went on to be the foundation tribes of Israel.
We don’t hear if the sisters were ever fully reconciled but I like to think that their passionate jealousy and fierce rivalry ran alongside a deep love for one another. They were in an impossible situation and one that would have tested even the most dedicated siblings.
Jacob may not have favoured her in life, but in death she was honoured and buried alongside Abraham and Sarah in a place where Jacob would be eventually laid to rest.[1] United in death if not in life.
[1] Genesis 49.31 – ‘There Abraham and his wife Sarah were buried; their Isaac and his wife Rebekah were buried; and there I buried Leah.’
Prayer
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger.... be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you
Ephesians 4.32
As we’ve reflected over the last couple of days on the complicated sibling relationship between Rachel and Leah perhaps we might think about our own relationship with a sibling or close family member. What do we appreciate about them? What is difficult?
Perhaps we can think of three things about them that we are thankful for. We may even like to send them a message to let them know. If your relationship is complex and damaged then perhaps you might like to pray for healing and forgiveness.
Be gracious to all that are near and dear to us, and keep us all in thy fear and love. Guide us, good Lord, and govern us by the same Spirit, that we may be so united to thee here as not to be divided when thou art pleased to call us hence, but may together enter into thy glory, through Jesus Christ. Amen
Consider the Lilies - Clare Hayns 
