Unveiled #Me Too: courage in the face of violence and threat

Helen Paynter, author, Baptist minister, and the director of the Centre for the Study of Bible and Violence at Bristol Baptist College. 

This article was written by Helen Paynter as part of a series based on our book Unveiled and commissioned by BRF. This was first published by BRF and is reproduced here by kind permission from Helen and BRF.

TW: Domestic Violence/sexual abuse

Standing up to a powerful man comes at considerable cost. 

Unveiled, p. 177

In 2017, the #MeToo tag went viral, becoming a global phenomenon within a matter of weeks, and emboldening millions of women – and also men – to name their experience of sexual harassment and abuse. What had, in many places, been a shadowy secret was brought into the light. The scale of the pandemic of abuse became clearer to many. Systems and structures that collude to silence women were brought under scrutiny. Serial abusers who had concealed their crimes with threats, non-disclosure agreements and the ‘old boys’ network’ were exposed and brought to justice.

What few people might imagine is that the women who shouted ‘Me too!’ had sisters who had gone before them and had left their traces in the pages of the Old Testament.

The Old Testament has a surprising collection of stories about women who stood up to powerful men, some of whom feature in the beautiful book Unveiled by Clare and Micah Hayns. Not all were speaking up about sexual abuse per se, but they share other common features: boldness, courage and truth-telling in the face of violence or threat.

Old Testament sisters

We might think of the two different Old Testament women named Tamar. The first Tamar’s story is told in Genesis and features in Unveiled. The second Tamar’s shocking story is recounted in the book of Samuel. The daughter of King David, she appeals to her lecherous half-brother with remarkable courage and wisdom. ‘No, my brother, do not force me… do not do anything so vile… you would be as one of the scoundrels in Israel’ (2 Samuel 13:12–13). Tragically, Tamar’s entreaty is over-ridden by her rapist, but when she is thrust out from his room afterwards, she raises the outcry, which is the traditional appeal for justice. ‘Tamar put ashes on her head, and tore the long robe that she was wearing; she put her hand on her head, and went away, crying aloud as she went’ (v. 19).

“Rizpah daughter of Aiah took sackcloth and spread it out for herself on a rock. From the beginning of the harvest till the rain poured down from the heavens on the bodies, she did not let the birds touch them by day or the wild animals by night.” 2 Samuel 21:10 – Image by ©MicahHayns

Or we might turn the pages to read of Rizpah, whose two sons were brutally murdered, on King David’s orders, in retribution for a crime their father Saul had committed. To compound this villainy, David allowed their bodies to remain exposed on the hillside for months, a dreadful act in the ancient world. In the face of such injustice, Rizpah, like Tamar, protested vigorously, making a public nuisance of herself as she guarded her sons’ bodies and grieved for them (2 Samuel 21:10). Such actions were dangerous under despotic kings who could easily have their thugs knife you (as one example among many, see 2 Samuel 20:8–10).

Or we could thumb further through our Bibles to read of another despotic king. In the book of Esther we read the story of Vashti, who boldly refused to be objectified by her husband at his debauched party.

Each of these women creatively and boldly called out the violence of a powerful man. They were noisy, stubborn and caused a public nuisance.

But not everyone was able to do that – then, as today. In Judges 19 we read of the horrific gang rape and murder of a secondary wife, thrust into the hands of a mob to protect her husband. She has no voice, her protest is stifled and she does not survive to raise the outcry. And though the act precipitates civil war in Israel, many more women were raped as a direct consequence of that military action, suggesting that the chief motivation was wounded male pride rather than outrage about a woman’s violation.

And so it falls to her sisters to take up her cause. To name the abuse, to call out the abuser, to cry for justice and safety.

In modern times many women have taken up the story of that nameless woman: Bekah Legg of the domestic abuse charity Restored, and biblical scholars Phyllis TribleIsabelle Hamley and myself (Helen Paynter), to name just four. I am reminded of what took place after the murder of Sarah Everard: the protests on Clapham Common and the Reclaim These Streets movement, which employed public grief to make a wider claim for justice.

Sadly, I can’t think of any good examples in the Old Testament narrative where a man takes up a woman’s cause or speaks effectively on her behalf (Clare’s note: perhaps the story of Suzanna and Daniel in the Apochrapah comes close). But if we keep turning the pages, we will eventually encounter a man who does, and repeatedly. A man who publicly defends a woman whose ‘great sin’ (probably sexual) has been forgiven, and whose gratitude leads her to weep over his feet and anoint them with oil (Luke 7:36-50). We can just imagine the sniggering and lewd remarks that were probably rippling through the onlookers as she did so. Jesus sternly rebukes them.

This is the same man who refuses to join the crowd in baying for the blood of a woman caught in the act of adultery, the crowd that was desperate to vilify the woman while curiously indifferent to the man she was with. Jesus shames the crowd into leaving, and then sends her home with gentle words.

Brothers, be more like Jesus

Because I (Helen) have written about domestic abuse, I find myself invited to speak on the subject from time to time. When the audience is free to choose whether to attend (unlike, for example, when I speak to trainee ministers or priests), it is always predominantly women who attend, usually outnumbering men by around seven to one. Why are men not more interested in this matter? (There are, of course honourable exceptions, such as this.)

Brothers, be more like Jesus, I implore you. Speak out against injustice. Actively stand against abuse. There is so much hatred and harm out there that it requires more than just passive non-complicity.

But the fact that these stories are present in our Bibles should encourage us. The accounts of these ancient women and the things they suffered have not disappeared in the patriarchal sands of time. These women mattered to God, and so he ensured that their stories were preserved in his word. And so they should matter to us, too – they and those who suffer like them in our own day

These stories should encourage contemporary sufferers of abuse to believe that God cares, and maybe to embolden them to speak out.

It is much harder for abuse to thrive when it is brought out of the shadows into the light; when it can no longer hide behind threats, non-disclosure agreements and the old boys’ network.

But, rest assured, in the end all will be revealed:

Nothing is covered up that will not be uncovered, and nothing secret that will not become known. Therefore whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be proclaimed from the housetops

Luke 12:2–3

Because, as the psalmist reminds us:

He who planted the ear, does he not hear?
He who formed the eye, does he not see?

Psalm 94:9

Following a career in medicine, Helen Paynter is now a Baptist minister and the director of the Centre for the Study of Bible and Violence at Bristol Baptist College. She is the author of two BRF books – God of Violence Yesterday, God of Love Today? and The Bible Doesn’t Tell Me So: why you don’t have to submit to domestic abuse and coercive control

Tamar: ruin and righteousness

Genesis 38

Written by Alannah Jeune, Doctoral student in History, University of Canterbury, New Zealand

I was ten when prostitution became legal in New Zealand, my home country. I remember the debates and news coverage surrounding the decision and the sudden increased visibility of street prostitution in my part of the city. My understanding of prostitution was very limited – largely derived from biblical passages and stories, and I think I had assumed it was something that only happened in ‘olden times’.

I can only faintly recall hearing the story of Tamar in Church, and the little I did remember was that she was characterised as a prostitute. But Tamar is far from the deceptive temptress that this label implied – her story is that of a remarkable woman who was to become one of only four women named in Jesus’s ancestral line.

Tamar’s story falls in the middle of the Genesis account of Joseph and his brothers. Chapter 38 begins with Judah and his three sons Er, Onan and Shelah. Tamar is married first to Er:

But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord put him to death.

Genesis 38:7

Judah then instructs his second son, Onan to marry Tamar according to levirate custom. This custom stated that any children born to the couple would be legally Er’s and inherit on his behalf. Therefore, Onan ensured that Tamar would not become pregnant, with the result that he too was put to death by the Lord.

Judah, probably a little nervous about Tamar by this point, ordered her to return to her father’s house telling her to wait there until Shelah was old enough to marry. Tamar does this and lives as a young widow in her father’s household, but Judah does not send for her once Shelah is grown.

Judah and Tamar, School of Rembrandt, 1650-1660

By this point Judah’s own wife has died, and when Tamar hears he is going on a journey to Timnah, she decides to take control of the situation. She dresses herself as a prostitute and sits at the entrance of Enaim, a town on the way to Timnah. Judah propositions her, sleeps with her, and leaves his signet and staff as a pledge till he can send a young kid to her as payment. However, Judah is unable to find the prostitute when he returns to recover his identifying belongings.

Meanwhile, Tamar has become pregnant by Judah and this is soon noticed. Judah is informed and he orders that she be brought out and burned. Tamar shows Judah his own signet and staff and tells him she is pregnant by the owner of these items.

Then Judah acknowledged them and said, ‘she is more in the right than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.’

Genesis 38:26

The tale concludes with the birth of Tamar’s twins: Perez and Zerah.

Tamar’s story is messy. She is passed as property from one man to another, from her father via Judah to Er then to Onan, then back to her father. At no point does Tamar have any choice or control. Her future is bleak – as a childless widow she has no societal standing, nor the security of someone to care for her in her old age. Hers is a situation in which women across the generations have found themselves caught – in a patriarchal society, the worst thing to be is a woman alone.

While emotional details are scant, Tamar’s story reveals a lot about her relationships with the men who control her life. Tamar’s first husband is put to death by the Lord for wickedness… it is no stretch to assume that this was not the happiest of marriages for Tamar, and that she may have suffered at his hands. But being married to a wicked man and all the trials that comes with such a union, was preferable to no marriage at all. And her father-in-law not only cheats her out of a marriage with Shelah, but seems to have been a man of questionable morals – Tamar chose the disguise of a prostitute implying she knew that Judah would be likely to use such services.

This is not a family anyone would choose to join willingly, but Tamar has few options so takes control of her own future through the only means she has. She has nothing to barter with but her own body, and her capacity to bear children, so this is the way provides herself with some security.

And yet this dysfunctional family is one that God has chosen to bless. Matthew’s gospel recounts Jesus’ genealogy and there in verse 3 is Tamar:

and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron thefather of Aram

Matthew 1:3

Tamar could not have known that through her son Perez, she would be an antecedent of Jesus. Her actions were designed only to ensure her own survival in a deeply patriarchal world – with few options open to her, she makes a difficult choice and tries to gain some control over her life. She changes her narrative  from that of a desperate victim of circumstance to a woman who is praised for her righteousness by her family.

Tamar’s story is difficult, but that is why it is powerful. The Bible does not edit out the difficult parts, just as we cannot edit out the painful, messy and difficult parts of our lives, no matter how much we might want to. Because God is there in the difficulties, in the mess. He works through imperfect and flawed people like Tamar and her family, just as he works in our lives in both the bad times as well as the good.

It is easy to feel God with us and working through us when things are going well – when we are succeeding, loving our neighbours and full of hope. But Tamar reminds us that He is also with us in the depths of our despair, in the lowest moments of our lives or those times when we feel we are falling short.

Prayer

Tamar’s story does not belong in ‘olden times’, she embodies the female experience of so many women around the world who live under oppressive political or social systems. But she also embodies that hope for us all – that even in the worst of times, God is with us and working through us.

A Prayer for International Women’s Day (which is tomorrow)

God of all, God of hope,
We pray for women and girls today.
That they will be all they can be.
Give us courage to speak and work
For equality and justice
Until the earth is filled
With righteousness and love.
Amen.